I remember how it was at the beginning. I know how hard it was for her, and how alone she felt. I watched everything happen, and though it no longer hurts to think about and talk about, I still hurt for her today. She never reflected her hurt on me like I have done so many times to her, but instead she taught me to be strong.

You could have disappeared on me. You could have changed yourself and your heart, but you taught me to be strong regardless of how you felt. Sometimes, your emotions got the best of you. It happens to everyone. But you were always real. You never let me feel foolish or stupid. You never lied unless it was to protect me. You just made me feel human.

My mother has never been nor will she ever be my friend. I say this with delegacy because many women by my age will either claim their relationship with there mothers has developed in such a way that they are now "friends."

My relationship is no where near that. For many years, my mother has taken on the responsibility of two parents: mother and father. Thus, there was never any running to dad if I wanted assistance in persuasion. I did not have that luxury. No always meant no. I could never tell my mother "everything" like most young teens.

My mom is very independent, never outspoken, and one of the strongest people I know. Sometimes these qualities make her a very intimidating and opinionated person. Growing up with such a strong role model helped me strive to be better, but this was also a challenge at times. Sometimes we fought about these qualities. Sometimes I didn’t appreciate her opinions about what I was wearing, who I was hanging out with. I often mistook her looking out for me as her being mean or critical. We often didn’t see eye to eye, and this caused a lot of tears and yelling over the years.

I'm hoping once I move out on my own our relationship will get better since we won't butt heads as often. If you have both of your parents in your life, be thankful. Some people only have one, and some people don't have either. So thank you mom. Thank you for teaching me how to be independent. Thank you for teaching me how to be strong.