Everything you have ever wanted, is sitting on the other side of fear.
Overcoming the obstacle of
pushing others away primarily has to do with building your own confidence
and self-esteem. We push people away because we may fear that they will
judge something about us. But, what if we didn’t think this way and were
confident without these fears? What if we could say that we can instead of we
can’t? It would result in the fear being non-existent. We would not push people
away for this reason. The steps of building your confidence also come from the
following.
Another way of overcoming
the obstacle of pushing others away and building your own confidence is to come to terms with past traumas
and fears causing current behavior. When you have been through
traumatic experiences and constant rejection, your mind becomes conditioned to
think that others are out to do you harm. However, this is simply what your
mind wants you to believe based on past experiences. The past does not have to
define you unless you let it. By tackling the issue from the origin, you will
be able to rationally think about current and future relationships that are
completely unrelated to past ones.
Understand that learning experiences form
connections. What this means is, that by learning from past experiences,
you can make better connections in the future. Just like the trauma example, if
you have yet to overcome the trauma, people will come into your life that will
make it seem like you are reliving it all over again. If, however, you learn
from these past mistakes and problems you have had, you will be able to form
connections, little by little, that are closer and closer to your ideal
connection with someone.
Don’t confuse rejection with failure. You are not a
failure if someone rejects you.
